Hey Doc,

I’ve had your book for a few years now, but didn’t follow it enough three years ago when I met my fiancée, Nicole. She was only 19 at the time (she’s 22 now and I’m 26 by the way). She’s going to school in a city that’s pretty far away, and I just graduated from school in another city, so I’m looking for a job where she is now, since she still has two years left before she graduates.

About six months ago, Nicole told me that we should take some time off because she didn’t know what she wanted and felt that something was missing in our relationship. The very next day she changed her mind and I told her that if it ever happens again I wouldn’t talk to her anymore. Things have been great ever since, but yesterday she said she had to tell me something about that day. She admitted that she felt bad and had wanted to tell me this secret all along, but that she never got up the courage. She said that every time I called her “baby” it made her feel horrible about what she did.

Here’s what happened. Just before she needed “time,” Nicole met her ex-boyfriend (her first love) at the park a couple of times and they kissed, but nothing more (I want to believe her, but I’m taking it with a grain of salt). She said that she is extremely sorry about what happened and that she felt like she was going crazy, and that it made her realize how much she wanted me and not him. She also said she regrets what happened big time and wants to marry me more than ever, and that it even helped her to realize that her ex is not for her but that I am. She swears she hasn’t talked to him since.

As she was telling me all this, I pulled out “The System” and read the section on “Betrayal.” I didn’t blow up, but told Nicole that I was very angry. I also told her that if she ever does anything like that again, there would be no more me and her.

Nicole begged me to forgive her, but I told her that I was too angry to think straight, and that I needed to go and sleep on it, and that I’d call her when I woke up. I will try to give her another chance, but I’m wondering how I should go about it. I’m thinking of telling her something like “If you’re absolutely positive that you still want to be with me and marry me, and that you will not ever think about doing something like this again, then I forgive you and we can move on.”

What do you think, Doc?

Primo - who hopes to get back in control

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