Seniors Dating, The Trick To Maintaining Independence And Space

We have all seen the increase in seniors dating that has taken place over the last few years, the result of couples divorcing at a later age, older people learning that happiness is not just for the young and of course changing attitudes towards senior couple dating again. Now dating later in life is in no way the same as dating when you are young, let us for example look at moving in together. A quite normal step for the young, but not so if your children are grown up and have children of their own.

This whole step has become a ‘step to far’ for so many older couples, a move that has finished so many relationships that were going well before. Both people are likely to have, and own, their own homes, homes that they see as an inheritance for their own children. And as we see our world move further and further into debt the chances of mortgages being paid off without the aid of inheritance grow slim. Children fear the question of who will die first in this new relationship, even if it is a topic not spoke about in public, in other words will their ‘banked on’ inheritance move outside of their family all together? And so the result is that many older couples dating today fear this whole questing of setting up home together.

As we mature we also become accustomed to our own space, we like the way we do things. Everyday things such as when we shop, eat or even what we like to watch on TV. We’ve grown more independent as we have aged, grown to enjoy our personal space, and time. We worry about being forced to compromise, we have a real fear of losing our freedoms. This new relationship is going great, but do I really want to begin compromising again at my age, and everyone says that compromise is the foundation that every successful relationship is built on, but is it?

Moving in together isn’t really the problem, for older couples the question should really be do I even need to be thinking about moving in together at all. From our early adulthood onwards we believe that as a relationship moves forward it will reach a natural point where both people will want to begin living together. This of course for the majority moves on to the starting a family stage, all perfectly normal, for the young, but completely untrue for the mature dating couple. So why do the majority of older dating couples feel they must move in together? – Peer pressure. It’s that same problem cropping up again, doing what you ‘think’ people will expect, rather than what you ‘want’ to do! If you stop for a moment and think about it living apart for a great many senior dating couples is the perfect solution.

You like your own space so why throw it away? Keeping your own space means you will appreciate the time you spend together more. There will also be less pressure put upon your own family, quality time spent regularly with you alone still, helping to make sure they don’t see your new partner as a ‘threat’. And this is a two way street, as, for the same reasons, you pose no threat to your partners family. This will over the months and years only help your families to appreciate the qualities you love so much in each other. There are many seniors dating like this for years, who accept not living together happily, whose relationships thrive rather than whither this way. The simple fact is that keeping your independence could well be the very best way to enjoy your new relationship, to enjoy that relationship in the long-term. So when we talk about having to live together remember only fools rush in.