Hey Doc,

Just recently I started reading your column and have found it fascinating. I wonder if you could give me some feedback on a problem I’m facing.

I was at a party a week ago at my buddy’s apartment. It was a blast at first. The people there, especially the girls, were really fun, and I thought I got a few interested in me. Soon after midnight, though, a lot of other guys showed up. I was trying to get a few phone numbers since it was late, but these latecomers swarmed over whatever girl I chose to concentrate on. They were obviously trying to grab and dominate their attention.

One girl, Deirdre, seemed like she wanted to continue talking to me, but the new guys were so annoying that she became hesitant and uncomfortable. She was clearly trying to block these guys out so that she could talk to me, but that attempt was pretty much futile.

I looked at my options: A) I could be upfront with these other dudes and tell them that I was having a conversation and to stop interrupting. B) I could give in to my frustration by starting a fight or just leaving. C) I could forget the whole thing and hang out with my friends until later that night when the party thinned out a bit.

I knew that talking to these guys wouldn’t help because it rarely does in a drunken college affair, and I would’ve appeared weak to this girl if I demanded they back off in vain. I didn’t want to try and lead this girl away because in that environment girls can be suspicious of your motives. After being hounded by these guys, Deirdre left with her friends.

Ultimately I did leave in frustration, and I know that if I had stayed with Deirdre I could’ve gotten her number, but I have a really hard time dealing with Blockers. And it seems like they are everywhere, even among my own friends. What am I supposed to say or do to get pushy, attention-grabbing guys to give me some room?

Silva - who hates to give ground

Read Doc Love’s Advice to Silva