Hey Doc,

I am 35, live in England and have just purchased your book. I realize now that I’ve being doing the exact opposite of what you preach. No wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere with girls and kept getting dumped after the first few dates. You probably know the sort of mistakes I was making: paying a girl too many compliments, being too needy, never saying no, and being too eager. Now I think that after all these years of unsuccessful dating I’m starting to see the light.

Now here’s my question. When you’re flirting with a woman, do you think it’s okay to joke about her appearance? Not in a nasty way, of course, but in a lighthearted, funny way. In other words, a gentle bit of teasing. For example, if you work with the girl, you might say that you never see her doing any work and that all the inactivity is giving her a fat behind. Or if she has had her hair done, can you say something like “I like it, but next time make sure they do your roots as well?” The point is to throw out some bait about your interest but not come on too strong.

The reason I ask is because there is a girl I work with who I like, and I know that “Caprice” had high Interest Level in me at one time. However, because I didn’t have “The System” I made the same mistakes, like pushing too hard, etc. and her Interest Level has dropped. I am hoping it’s not too late to turn things around, as I really like this girl. Maybe some easy joshing would help?

By the way, Caprice is currently breaking up with the guy she lives with. They have been together a few years and she is having a really hard time of things, as she wants to walk out but doesn’t really have a lot of options on where she can go. We have kissed on a couple of occasions, but no more that that. With her having so much on her mind at the moment I don’t want to put any pressure on her but at the same time I hope I wasn’t just a rebound thing either.

Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Anton - who’s trying to figure out what to do next

Read Doc Love’s advice to Anton