It must be really tough. Do you think you are just a victim of bad luck and that’s the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared in your life yet? Or have you decided that maybe Ms. Perfect only exists on movie screens and not out here in the real world? BINGO! You’ve got it. She doesn’t exist anywhere except in your imagination and on movie screens.
The truth of the matter is that the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you and the fact that you are busy looking for a person that doesn’t exist! You can’t date with your eyes closed and some impossible dream in your head. You’ll get so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forget to look for the qualities you seek! You haven’t met the person of your dreams because you aren’t looking for the things that will make them close enough to perfect for you.
You are so confident that every woman you have met could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these?
Remember, that nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has faults…some are bigger faults than other faults. Some are faults you can overlook and some are faults that you couldn’t overlook on your best day and if she was the most beautiful, most sexy woman on the planet.
When you meet a woman, remember, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it’s far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of what you need would be fulfilled if you dated this woman.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 24th, 2012. 
What is it exactly that makes a woman see a man as romantic? Most of the time it’s the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven’t they almost become a cliché. That’s not to say women don’t like flowers because they do, but if that’s all you’ve got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments.
The key factor in creating romantic moments is to put the lady’s likes ahead of your own.
Creating romantic moments is so easy it’s a wonder every man in the world doesn’t “get” this. All you have to do is think of an activity built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on.
It’s all about doing something she likes with her. What will make such activities seem even more romantic to her is if you choose to do something she likes to do with her when a ball game is on TV that you could be watching with your buddies. She will feel chosen…and that, sir, is VERY romantic indeed.
It doesn’t matter which activity to choose to participate in with the woman that you want to think of you as romantic. The trick is for you to be totally involved mentally in the activity and not staring off into space or obviously just wishing it were over so you could go do what you really want to do. Remember this is you trying to be romantic so concentrate on the project at hand.
It really is so very easy to create romantic moments. With only a little thinking and planning, romantic moments can happen every day and at the most unexpected moments. Being romantic is a win/win situation. There is no reason not to make romantic moments happen at every opportunity.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 10th, 2012.
Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.
After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.
If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.
Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.
When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.
Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.
Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don’t hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 3rd, 2012.
That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.
The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.
Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.
Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.
Now, some good first date ideas are:
Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.
Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:
If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.
Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 27th, 2012.
Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you’ll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there’s no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time.
This particular tip requires knowing a bit about your lady and what she likes and doesn’t like. But you don’t have to know her like the back of your hand in order to make a truly romantic evening for the two of you to share. The most important thing is to consider what you know she finds romantic and then do your best to create that for her. The very fact that you thought of her and wanted to romance her out of the blue will really impress her and make her feel truly special.
Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it’s sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There’s no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like.
If you have a portable CD player you can bring that along with a disc of romantic music and you’ll have an evening that the both of you are sure to remember. Just don’t forget to check the weather and be sure to bring the blanket!
The next suggestion I have is good for any weather, a nice candlelit meal consisting of her favorite foods and dessert at your place. When you’re planning this evening be sure to have soft, romantic music on and a nice bottle of wine. Her favorite flowers would be an extra nice touch. This meal could be prepared by you or ordered and picked up from a restaurant.
As long as you’ve taken care to choose what she likes it’s sure to be a huge hit! If your place tends to be a bit messy, be sure to take the extra bit of time to clean it up so that she’s not tripping over your tennis shoes or gym bag.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 20th, 2012.
If you are hoping to be successful in the world of seduction, you’re going to have to know how to be sensitive. When a woman looks at a man, from her unique perspective, one of the key things she sees is how sensitive you are. It can truly be a pass or fail characteristic. If the lady in your life doesn’t see a sensitive side, she’s going to be put off. Personality counts for so much, especially if you’re hoping to go further with a relationship.
To begin with, it’s important to understand just what sensitivity is. Sensitivity, or being sensitive, is just one of those things that’s gotten such a bad rap as to make it virtually a taboo. But false impressions are to blame for that, and we can dismiss such misconceptions here so we can get on with the business of becoming a more sensitive man. But what sensitivity really is, in truth, is responsiveness to things around you. It’s a general sense of what’s going on.
Unfortunately, you may be thinking you’ve already got it pegged. But don’t think it’s just a matter of self-awareness and a general idea of the world around you. The sensitivity women want in a man goes a bit further. Or, put more directly, women are looking for a specific kind of sensitivity in men.
Here’s an example you’re sure to remember from some movie you once saw: a young couple are walking along a street at night, and the temperature is dropping. Conveniently, she had forgotten to bring a coat, but he had remembered to bring his. He notices her shivering, and quickly offers his coat to her, despite his own need for the coat.
Okay, that’s a basic example. But what matters is that the guy was aware of his girlfriend’s need, and he did something about it. Moreover, he made a sacrifice for her. This is a big deal. When a man can be more concerned about the welfare of someone else than himself, he’s got a chance to impress the ladies.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 13th, 2012.
When it comes to seducing a woman, attitude plays a very big role in how successful, or unsuccessful you are. If you have a positive attitude you’re more likely to attract women more easily than a guy with a negative attitude. Being positive and upbeat shows in nearly everything you do, as does being negative and glum. Women are much more likely to choose the positive, upbeat guys.
First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they’re around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it’s happened to all of us. So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone’s head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude.
But it goes much further than that. When you’re trying to make your best impression on a woman, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you’re not giving off those positive vibes we’ll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you.
The bottom line: women like to find a man who’s stable. Part of what women judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you’re changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then we’re going to think twice before we get involved with you. Remember, women are looking for a partner; a 50 – 50 relationship.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 6th, 2012.
Hi Doc,
Thanks for all of your books. I’ve read and re-read them over and over. I’ve tried “The System” off and on for over a year — and invariably I’m happy when I use it, and unhappy when I don’t!
The main difficulty I have is with phone calls, specifically, trying to catch the women at home. I’ve avoided calling their cell phones, but it does seem weird to have their number and not use it.
The second problem I have is that I get most of my numbers on Fridays. Waiting until the following week seems too long (10 days if I call on Monday), and calling on Sunday night seems awkward.
Here’s my current dilemma. I met Heather recently and on our first date she showed high Interest Level. She laughed at my jokes, hugged me once, said she had a good time, and twice told me she was glad I asked for her number. I feel this woman has real potential. She is Flexible and seems Giving.
I called her twice several days later (a Monday) at 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. — no answer. I tried twice Tuesday, also no answer, and I left a short message saying that I called, but did not leave a call-back number nor did I ask her out. I know leaving any message is against your principles.
Doc, how do I proceed now? Have I blown it already? If I can’t catch them at home, do I just wait another week? Heather’s already asked about my marital status, whether I have kids, etc. Even though I played it cool but friendly on the date, she knows I am interested.
I have continued to try and use your techniques by asking another girl out and have another number to call next week, though it’s Heather I really like. Yet I do see the value in having more than one number! It’s really killing me to apply “The System” to this Beautiful Woman, though I have seen it work on women that I have ended up not pursuing further.
Thanks for any insight.
Marat – who can’t figure out how to take it from here
Filed under Dating Advice by on Feb 11th, 2011. 1 Comment.
Most guys that are studying in college will have already been exposed to college dating and so will know a bit about the kind of challenges they will have to face. The simple truth is that college going guys will have to face a special set of challenges that can best be overcome with the help of, among other things, some well intentioned dating tips for college guys. In fact, it is certainly quite overwhelming for guys in college to deal with the amount of freedom they have on account of living on their own. Without any parental controls and with ready availability of alcohol on campus things can easily get out of hand. At the same time there is a lot of pressure in maintaining their academic performance.
Don’t Burn The Wick At Both Ends
This means that the simplest of all dating tips for college guys is that they should avoid the temptation of burning the wick at both ends and instead they need to adopt a more conservative approach to their college dating activities. In fact, with the right dating tips for college guys it is possible for a guy in college to understand the true worth of a sound relationship and this is one lesson that can and will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives; especially as it will help them avoid disastrous situations such as handling unwanted pregnancies and dealing with sexually transmitted diseases.
Another aspect to college dating, academic performance must not be allowed to flag or deteriorate due to being distracted by college dating. This means that the best dating tips for college guys are those that show guys that are studying in college the value of balancing a relationship with shouldering the obligation of excelling in their academic work. This in turn means that your main priority should be to focus on your studies and then you should use whatever spare time you have to indulge in college dating.
Also, it pays to heed dating tips for college guys that teach you that the campus is really quite a small place and so you have to ensure that you do not do anything that will give rise to gossip and rumors that can lead to a failed relationship and consequently deterioration in academic performance.
Without dating tips for college guys and even simple dating tips most guys would be at a loss as to what they should do or say to attract girls. Unfortunately, even those guys that think that they know what they are doing and saying end up making the wrong moves and then in spite of their best efforts they continue repeating their mistakes. This is when it is necessary to pay heed to every last piece of advice that they can get in order to date in the proper and safest manner possible.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 14th, 2010.
For some college going guys finding a girl to go out with is often the hardest part about their life on campus. Even though the Internet has opened up many new vistas some people just cannot score with members of the opposite sex. There is also something particularly attractive about college going girls that makes every guy want to date them. However, for some uncanny and unexplained reason these girls have their own way of finding out when a guy is desperate for a date with them and this can stop anyone dead in their tracks.
You Can Hope Once More
However, with the help of college dating tips for girls even guys that normally never make it with a girl have hope that they too can find the opposite sex to give them a chance. One of the better college dating tips for girls is to ensure that you always stay true to yourself and not try and brag about all your accomplishments as this will send the wrong signal that you are just looking for a one-night stand and nothing more. Girls appreciate guys that are being themselves and who act normal.
Another simple college dating tip for girls is that you should always respect a girl’s space and not try and do anything to invade their personal space. At the same time you must ensure letting the girl know that you are interested in dating her and that you would like to get to know her better. And so, you should shun using pick-me up lines as these are generally never original or witty and will not in most cases invite the desired response.
Next, you need college dating tips for girls regarding how you should behave should a girl agree to go out on a date with you. Remember that you must create a good impression in your date’s mind and so you should try and be spontaneous and funny and perhaps a bit adventurous as well. Also, another college dating tip for girls is that you should keep in mind that college going girls are often quite busy and are always obsessed with themselves and will be very uptight about maintaining their looks. This in turn gives rise to college dating tips for girls that recommend that you learn that it pays to make sure that you allow your date to unwind and let their hair down. This is surely a wonderful college dating tip for girls that will always prove its worth should you follow it exactly.
Without a few useful dating tips for college guys it would be hard to imagine how an average student will stand a chance against girls that are in any case so hard to get and even harder to attract. Without tips to help you out, the entire task of dating a college going girl will become a mountain that is just too hard to climb.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 7th, 2010.
Let’s just admit it right now, that we all need some teenage dating tips or adult dating tips from time to time. No matter what age you are, if you are going to be dating then you need to make sure that you are always prepared. Of course the most important thing is for you to be yourself, otherwise you are not going to be showing who you are and can never expect to find someone who loves you for you.
There are a few of these great free love and dating tips in particular that are sure to be helpful and which you are probably going to appreciate the next time that you go on a date.
Don’t be Slutty
Okay so this may sound a bit harsh, but women especially think that they need to dress provocatively in order to catch the man’s eye. Well if you want some helpful free love and dating tips, then the first of the free love and dating tips that you want to learn is that you do not have to dress this way just to find someone who cares about you.
Your personality and grace should be enough, because after you start dating this person for a while anyway, they are going to see you when you are not so dressed up, and what happens then? If they are that conceited and vain that they are only going to date someone who looks good all the time, then you are not going to want them anyway.
Let the Conversation Flow
Another of the best free love and dating tips is to be open with your conversation. While you are not going to want to reveal all to this person who you are just meeting with for the first time, if you feel comfortable then try to open up a bit and let them know things about you. After all, this is the whole point of a date is to try and learn more about the person so that you can get to know them and see if this is someone that you could imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with.
Don’t be Rude
Even if the other party on the date does something that irks you a bit and you pretty much know that you are not going to be seeing them again, use this of the free love and dating tips and don’t be rude just make an excuse to leave and be nice about it.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 30th, 2010.
So you know that you are going to be going to a speed dating event, well then you are going to want to prepare yourself as much as possible, and that means finding free dating tips wherever you can, speed dating tips for women that are going to help you here and ensure that you have the most success with your speed dating endeavor.
There are a lot of great speed dating tips for women that have proven to be very successful and help women to find that special someone. Well here are a few of the best speed dating tips for women that you can really take advantage of.
Relax
We always get so nervous when we go on a date, and so you can multiply that by about twenty considering that is how many men you are technically going to be dating here, or maybe even more than that. So it is important that you learn about speed dating tips for women, one of the most important being to just relax and be yourself.
You don’t want to waste your time here, and that means showing the guys who you really are, and don’t let your nerves get in the way of that.
Make Him Feel Comfortable
Not only do you want to be relaxed and having a good time, but you also want to show the guys that they are able to relax and feel comfortable around you. This way you are going to learn more and spend less time being nervous with each other, and not only that but this is also going to make sure that he is more honest because if a guy feels comfortable with you then they are going to be more willing to open up.
Pay Attention to Them
Another of the best speed dating tips for women that you can get is to make sure that you are paying attention to each guy on each day. This is important because you want to make sure that you look nice and all but you also want to have the focus on them. They are looking for a potential partner just as much as you are and so it is unfair to expect that all the attention should be put on you.
These tips are all going to be very helpful and make sure that you have the best chances of finding someone really special.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 23rd, 2010.
So of course if you are a woman going into a speed dating experience you are going to want to learn as many speed dating tips for women as possible. This way you are going to have the best chances of success and know that you are that much more likely to find that special someone. There are some great speed dating success tips that are sure to help here.
Help Him to Feel Comfortable
One of the best speed dating success tips is to help him feel comfortable. Men do get nervous, especially in this type of setting where they only have a few minutes to try and impress each woman. If you really want to spend your time with each man wisely, you want to make sure that you feel comfortable. Try not to be too prissy and just be relaxed and show him that you are not uptight and that he does not have to worry about being perfect.
Of course this doesn’t mean that you have to pretend to be interested in each guy, but at least letting them feel comfortable is really going to make things easier on both of you here.
This is one of the best speed dating success tips and it goes both ways, not only for women but men as well.
Dress Appropriately
Especially for the women, learning how to dress appropriately is one of the most important speed dating success tips by far. If you are not dressed right, you are not only going to be giving off the wrong vibe, but you are going to be taking away from what really matters, the conversation, because this is what is going to show you if you would be able to spend the rest of your life with this person or not.
While you can certainly show off your best assets and dress nicely, try not to dress too provocatively because this is all the guy is going to focus on.
These are both great speed dating success tips and there are many others as well that men and women can take advantage of and use to really make the most of this situation here. If you have friends or family members who have gone through this already, talk to them and see how it turned out for them and what ideas they have to offer you to help out here.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 16th, 2010.
Many people are of the opinion that dating women that are much younger than you is totally unacceptable though if this was checked in present day scenarios it should not surprise you to learn that such form of dating is quite normal. Of course, in the case of men dating younger women it has been found that many times their success rates are low on account of the tendency among men to make some very stupid and elementary mistakes. However, since there are some very useful tips for dating younger women available you can avoid making such mistakes by making an effort to find some effective tips that will teach you better.
Learn To Stay Calm
The first tips for dating younger women are that it pays to be the cool guy who does not buckle under pressure and in addition you must also learn not to get the heebie-jeebies when you encounter a young and attractive woman who attracts you no end. Such actions can and will kill off the possibility of dating these attractive young women even before you even get to saying hello to one another.
The second tip for dating younger women is that you should first learn to treat younger women as if they were your kid sisters and this in turn means poking fun at her and teasing her and acting just like she is your kid sister. This can help break the ice in a nice and safe manner.
The third tip for dating younger women is that you should not allow a younger woman to take the lead because this is something that no woman (young or old) likes and this is what you have to avoid at all costs.
Never try and take advantage of younger women and this is one tip for dating younger women that you must never ignore. If you do, you would end being considered a dirty old man and that will be the end of your dating prospects.
Other tips for dating younger women include not interfering in a younger woman’s life, not trying to chase her around, being ready to accept that she will change over time and remember that it always pays to be a gentleman at all times.
One of the best speed dating tips are that you should ensure making a good first impression. This means that rather than try and imitate Angelina Jolie (if you are a woman) or Brad Pitt (if you are a man) you should just try and be well groomed and look your best. And, don’t forget to always wear a nice and bright smile.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 9th, 2010.
If you are looking for effective speed dating tips for women then check out Fast Impressions which is a website that goes to great lengths to provide the most outstanding service related to speed dating. The first of many speed dating tips for women that you will get from this website is that it pays to look a certain part. In addition, you should pay close attention to detail and you should choose an appropriate venue to meet your date where the food and drinks are of the best quality.
Don’t Give Out Your Personal Details
The second important speed dating tips for women that you will get is that it is sheer stupidity to give out your personal details when you first meet your guy. No doubt, speed dating is exciting and fun and very fast but at the same time you need to heed speed dating tips for women that emphasize on the need to ensure dating safely. This means that you should not reveal your telephone number or last name and even your email address until you get to know him a lot better.
One thing that men are notorious for and that is that they do not know how to interpret a woman’s signals. So, you may want some help which you can easily get from using speed dating tips for women and then learn how to create signals that are easy to understand – even if your target is a man. Also, if you want to flirt there is nothing wrong with that but you must know how to differentiate between friendly flirting and sexual flirting.
Laughter is certainly the best medicine and so you may not really need this speed dating tip for women but it nevertheless does pay to heed this tip that advises that you try and spread good cheer and the best way of doing so is to be lighthearted and allow yourself to have a good laugh to ease whatever tension there is in your mind and body.
Another important speed dating tip for women is that if you do not have anything to say then don’t say anything. However, don’t make the mistake of also getting up and leaving as this is not a good signal for your date who can easily be offended.
Last but not least, speed dating tips for women also mention that you should be interested in your date. And, don’t forget to wear sexy underclothes as this will boost your confidence and make you feel more audacious.
There are a number of interesting tips for dating younger men that will help an older woman that is interested in men that are younger than her. The first of these tips will show you how to break the ice with younger men even if they are intimidated by your age.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 2nd, 2010.
There are several simple dating tips for shy women that every woman that has a shyness problem can put to good use to learn that dating need not be a nightmarish experience. With the help of these dating tips for shy women it is possible to also experience the fun and joy of dating – even if until now you were shy and gawky and unable to hit it off with men.
Prepare A Pitch
The first of the many dating tips for shy women you will come across relates to preparing a pitch which should be able to help you break the ice with a man. When you first meet a man you will be asked many questions and one way to ensure that your shyness does not cause a problem is to have a ready answer available. Even if you make mistakes you must not feel disappointed and should also not apologize for your answers.
Another helpful dating tip for shy women is that you should understand that most people love to talk about them and so you should learn to ask questions and for this it helps if you prepare a list of possible questions that you can ask your date.
Most shy people tend to fumble when asked to express their feelings and for this there are some useful dating tips for shy women that can help overcome such situations. Just learn to turn the subject around so that it relates to the other person and not you. So, you can pass a remark about how nice your date looks or you can enquire about his job or of course you can pay him a complement that will really help to ease tensions.
Complements are a great way to divert attention from you and so this is another useful dating tip for shy women and is one that can make a shy woman appear more confident than they really are. In addition, one way to overcome shyness is to become a good listener. This is therefore an important dating tip for shy women as it can help them learn to forget about worrying what to say and instead they can concentrate on listening to what their date is saying.
There are a few other dating tips for shy women as well such as remembering to smile whenever you can and also learning to breathe slowly and steadily. Together, these can have a very positive effect on a shy woman’s mind and confidence.
There is also need to find some good speed dating tips for women. One place where you can get such tips is at a website called Fast Impressions.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 26th, 2010.
If you were growing up in the sixties and you saw a movie called the Graduate in which Dustin Hoffman pursues an older woman, Mrs. Robinson you must have thought that this was a one-off instance. Well, that kind of thing has caught on in a big way and today many more young men are hooking up with older women. So it makes sense to learn from a few dating tips for older women just how the whole thing works. Women when they age will do so gracefully and are also able to make better choices and dating younger men is one of these choices that they seem to be making more often and more readily.
More Exhilarating
The fact is that even without dating tips for older women to show you why an older woman likes to date younger men it is quite obvious that the younger the male is the more exhilarating is the relationship. However, before jumping in blindly and starting a relationship with a younger man you should take help of available dating tips for older women so that you know what you are getting into and also to find out what you really want.
One of the most obvious dating tips for older women is that older women bring more maturity to the relationship and so they are able to mold the behavior of the younger partner. This means that older women are able to spend time with a younger man in a more mature manner though it still will pay for an older woman to learn how to handle the young partner’s moods and friends as well as how to take care of him.
Other dating tips for older women are those that warn that an older woman should expect a lot of spontaneity on the part of their younger male partners as these young bucks will be rearing to explore and have fun before they will even consider settling down. So, don’t expect any wedding bells to chime soon after you begin dating a younger man.
The most important of all dating tips for older women is that women must expect certain things from the relationship and these expectations should be realistic. You have to decide whether you are looking for casual romance or you want the permanent deal and then you must pick your partner accordingly.
Shy women have a decided disadvantage over their more confident and outgoing fellow female fellow humans. Unless a shy woman is able to use some useful dating tips for shy women they will continue to think and act as if dating is the biggest nightmare that is sure to do something nasty to them that will end up ruining their lives. The right tips however can help a shy female learn to come to terms with her shyness and overcome her frightened state to step out and try and make contact with someone from the other sex.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 19th, 2010.
These days anything is possible, especially when it concerns dating. With Madonna and her Guy Ritchie showing us how older women can strike it big with younger men it is safe to say that there are more than a few women that are interested in dating younger men. The simple fact is that today even older women can conceive and give birth to babies and so the temptation to date a younger man is stronger today than at any time in the past.
Snare A Nice Young Man
Because there are so many exciting tips for dating younger men that can show women how to get ahead with dating a younger man it makes sense to use these tips to help you snare a nice young man. Also, given the fact that numbers of footloose women waiting to find a younger man are growing there is good reason for them to look for tips for dating younger men so that they can get started on the right foot.
The first thing that you will learn from tips for dating younger men is that not every woman needs or even wants a father figure around them and so these women will then seek to have some fun in the form of dating younger men that are more adventurous and willing to explore new avenues. A woman that knows how to take care of her will certainly not mind dating a younger man.
And, of course the common perception is that a young buck will perform better sexually than an older man and so this adds to the spice of wanting to romance a younger man. Women can learn from available tips for dating younger men just how to snare a younger man and how to start an exciting adventure even if they happen to be in their thirties and forties.
Another useful piece of information that you can get from available tips for dating younger men is that younger guys tend to look up to older women and especially to women that are both older and very successful. Some of the corporate women leaders are bound to be lonely and looking for a nice toy boy with whom to relax and share their private moments with. And, when a younger man also shows their admiration for a woman’s success, she just is not going to forego the chance of dating a young buck.
There are several dating tips for women that can be used to help women date safely and effectively. These tips will shed light on how a woman should behave around her man and this kind of information can also teach them how being too cocky or confident and independent can actually work against them. The fact of the matter is that most men base their assumptions about women according to the woman’s actions and so it pays for a woman to learn to act in a manner that will attract men and not repel them.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 12th, 2010.
Your fiance just invited you for dinner at ma and pa’s house. Are you ready to meet them? Are you a little nervous or maybe scared? If the connection between you and your girlfriend is good, you have to be talking about you and her mother and father from time to time. As the relationship gets more major and grown up, you will finally meet her mum and dad.
Here are sound advices for you when the day comes to meet her mother and dad. First not all oldsters are alike, so don’t make the assumption that they’ll be like your mom and dad. However hopefully like her, you would would like to electrify, respect and not offend your own fogeys, wouldnot you? Ask your squeeze about her folks. It’d be useful to grasp any history on her dad’s or mom’s side, her siblings, their work background and major health Problems.
Asking these key questions will also show your squeeze that you have an interest in knowing all about her family and you attach plenty of importance in meeting her ma and pop. A slipshod remark about the latest bloopers by the nation’s president may not sit well with her mom and pop if they are staunch republicans from a red state. There are countless of other ways you can cock up with her ma and dad if you donot do your homework.
The target is to leave a sound impression on her dad and ma after the initial meeting. Now, you’d think that of the two, the father should be the first focus. Itis best to get your girlfriend’s's mom on your side first. Mull it over, and she is essentially the one hosting the dinner in the house, isn’t she? Likewise, most mummies would in some measure judge you dependent on how content their girl looks being with you.
When youare hitting a coarse spot in your relationship, your girl would most likely run to her ma. Dad will generally have amore difficult time accepting you. After all he was the main man in your girlfriend’s's life. Now, it will manifestly seem to her pop that you are taking over that role.
In some examples, the daddy might resent that. In the majority of situations, they’ll size you up to determine if youare actually fit to look after their girl. So, come to consider it, fathers have a more natural hurdle to get close to you.
When you get into a dialogue with them, make sure to show interest in their family life. Look for shared interests, pastimes and expound on them. Compliment her cooking by finishing your plate.
After dinner, you need to offer to help clear the table of wash the dishes. At last, your squeeze’s people will begin to ask you some direct questions. Relax, look them in the eye and answer as nicely as you can.
Attempt to consider their reason for asking the question and relate to this when replying to the oldsters. Remember, in the initial meeting, be yourself and make attempts to always observe good manners. Show respect to your girl and her ma and dad.
Your squeeze has likely told each one of them about you and how great you are. So come prepared for the meeting and show to her folks you need to be with their child.
The author has been writing articles on various interesting topics such as dating, dieting and relationships. Her new interests are in home decoration. Visit her new sites on Storage Coffee Table, Trunk Coffee Tables and Leather Cube Ottomans.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Feb 28th, 2010. Comment.
“Who Else Wants To Quickly Lose 10 Pounds Over And Over Again?”
Hey, everyone needs to lose weight from time to time. You’re no different! The world is over-saturated with temptation. With a McDonalds or Burger King on every corner, how is one supposed to keep the weight off? And now that technology has become so advanced, we’re starting to have less and less opportunity for physical activity.
What is one to do? Stop eating? Work out three times a day! NO!!!
There is something you can do about it, however. Are you ready? Here it comes…
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 15th, 2009. Comment.
Human pheromones are supposed to let a potential mate know that their body is compatible with ours. They are nature’s way of saying, “Let’s mate, we make a great couple!” However, there are many pheromone cologne scams out there that claim that, by dabbing pheromones on our skin, we can get any woman we want. How could that be?
These pheromone cologne scams often have reviews in their ads that have men saying they go into a bar wearing these colognes and are bombarded with beautiful women left and right. They have dates with beautiful women every night and they have to actually turn women down because the pheromone colognes work so well. Come on. One only has to use their head to know that this is just a pheromone cologne scam.
The Bar
If you’re a man and you’ve ever been to a bar, you know how hard it is to get a woman to pay attention to you. If she’s with her friends, the man she goes after tends to be who her friends like. If she’s by herself, she’s going to go with the man who has the most social status, is the best looking and maybe shows that he makes the most money. Pick up artists know this. It’s also about your personality. If you can make a woman laugh and also make her feel desirable and wanted, and special, she’ll be yours for the taking. It has nothing to do with the cologne you wear. Sure, she may like your cologne, and you should at least make an attempt to smell good, such as taking a bath, but no woman went home with a man based purely on the cologne he wore. Yet these pheromone cologne scams would have us believe this is fact.
Attraction
If you want to have the woman if your dreams, don’t give into pheromone cologne scams. Instead, make her laugh, make her feel special, compliment her, show her that you have things in common. She should want to be with you. You can’t force her to feel that attraction and you certainly can’t dabble on a magic potion and have her eating out of your hand. That’s science fiction. Yet so many men give into this pheromone cologne scams, spending lots of their hard earned money on false promises.
Think About It
Let’s assume that these pheromone cologne scams actually worked. You’d have to buy a lot of the stuff just to keep her interested. If you wanted to marry her, you’d have to buy a lifetime supply. Instead, find a woman who actually wants to be with you. Not every man can get every woman, not even Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Believe it or not, every woman has certain criteria for what they look for in a man and not one of these criteria include the type of cologne he wears.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 9th, 2009. Comment.
Blind dates can be quite a nightmare if your date finds all your interests, totally uninteresting. On the other hand, if you find his/her likings completely repulsive then the date will be equally doomed. If he/she is an introvert who likes to stay indoors and you are an outdoor person, chances are you will never go on a blind date for some time to come. There is nothing more satisfying than finding a partner who shares the same interests as you. If you find such a person, you will hit it off instantly. If you both are adventure freaks, then dating will not be too tough for you. You will never be out of fun date idea and you do not need too many tips.
The Great Outdoors
There are hundreds of things to do and an equal number of places to visit if you are an outdoor person. Hiking, rock climbing and mountain biking are a few. First of all find a place near your city which is fit for hiking. Get in touch with agencies that plan and organize such trips. You can also check for online resources which will help you find the best place to start. Opt for an amateur trail, as you are not going there for the sake of adventure only. You are on a date and that is the reason why you are there, not the other way round. Help each other during the trail. Take a number of breaks during the trip as this will give you time to talk to each other. This way you will get to share your thoughts and you will get to know each other better. Such trips help in forming a long lasting relationship.
Tip: Do not forget to carry the right gear, a first aid kit and some drinks and food.
Rock Climbing
Remember Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible? Rock Climbing is not for the amateurs. If you and your date have never done it before then you should go to an indoor rock-climbing club, which attempts to mimic the real experience but in a more controlled environment. Guides and instructors will be available to help you. After you practice on this, you will be ready for the real thing. Lend each other support. After all, you want support when you are hanging a few feet off the ground by nothing else but a rope. This again is a great team building sport that brings you together as a team. This sense of teamwork will help you in coming closer and knowing each other better.
Tip: Never head for the real thing without getting proper rock climbing lessons.
Mountain Biking
Mountain biking is not meant for the inexperienced. You and your date have to be extremely sure that you want to try this out. This is biking in its most extreme form. You need the necessary equipment and right guidance before you set out on a trip. You will definitely enjoy this trip with your date. Opt for a secluded place where you can have some privacy as well. There is nothing more relaxing than being in natural surrounding.
Tip: Make sure that you know the train well as you do not want to get lost. Also, inform the local security in charge about your bike trip.
If these are not adventurous enough for you, you can try paragliding, surfing and snorkeling. But you have to head off to the beach for that. A beach is a different dating idea all together.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 7th, 2009. Comment.
When you go on a date there are certain things and ways you should behave. Of course you want the person to get to know you so you shouldn’t try and be someone that you are not.
When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. This will show the other person you care about your appearance but you also care about what they think about you. If you don’t care about what the other person thinks then you probably shouldn’t be going out on a date with them.
Depending on the person you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for your date.
If the woman you are going out with is a feminist, then let her open the doors and do things for herself or it will bother her. She also will want to pay for her own meal.
If you are not going on a date with an independent woman who is a feminist then you should open the doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.
Don’t take your date somewhere you cannot afford and never find yourself asking your date for money to cover the bill.
Dating etiquette also includes not making the other person feel as if they are on an interview. It is common for people on a date to ask many questions and they just want to get to know the other person.
However, don’t make them feel as if they are on an interview or you might scare them off. Be sure to create a comfortable atmosphere.
What You Need to Know About online dating
online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it. Online dating may seem to be the simplest thing in the world but it is not. It should be viewed in all earnestness or things could go haywire. Every game has its rules and unless you know all the rules you just can’t become a good player and eventually a winner.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 3rd, 2009. Comment.
Hunting for a suitable female dates is probably a high priority for most guys across the world. They go to great lengths to find a female partner. Some are lucky, some are not.
What I want to explain to you is that its not about luck, it’s a lot of about using the right techniques. I have a friend who never had female company. And then by the time he reached college, he was as good as a playboy, having beautiful babes thronging to him from all sides. I asked him how he managed to do this. He explained at length about some of the techniques that he used, and I am going to share some of them with you.
The first and foremost rule when it comes to attracting girls is to look good. When talking about looks, it’s not simply your face cut and features. What I want to stress upon is the grooming bit. Your attractiveness to women has a lot to do with your dressing sense, the quality of our shave, the perfumes you wear, and many such things.
Don’t go by the hype that women don’t care how their men look like. It’s not entirely true. When you look good, you increase your chances of getting the first contact, and that is critical. What you do after that depends upon your tact and skills.
In fact, if you are really serious about having a wonderful set of female dates, attend a session on grooming tips. You will learn about so many little things that go a long way in creating a lasting first impression. Tips on how to do your hair, your nails, and things like that. And when you start looking good, you will yourself feel confident about approaching women.
The next thing after looks is your attitude and confidence level. That, I must say, is the second most important factor determining your dating success. I have seen many good-looking men who are not lucky in finding dates because they don’t have the right attitude.
When it comes to dating and attracting women, it matters a lot how you present yourself. What women really like is the men who are comfortable about themselves, the guys who don’t have to try to hard. That is the golden rule in dating.
The best attitude that you can adopt with women is to exhibit a deep sense of comfort level about your looks, sex appeal and even the dress you wear. There is nothing else that a woman likes more.
So as you try your luck with dating, do use my tips as well. I am quite sure that you would find them useful. Happy dating!
Midwest Singles Connection
The Midwest Singles Connection, a member of the largest and most successful singles dating site on the web, has thousands of active listings of eligible single men and women throughout the United States.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jun 29th, 2009. Comment.
First dates are very memorable events that may come in varied ways but they share the common effect of something that stays within the person. When the time comes for your next first date or even not just the first but any romantic date for that matter, there are some tips that could make that one ordinary night something you reminisce even years after.
- Relax as the date starts; get a drink for both of you if you see the need of doing so. But of course it has to go with a very nice conversation for this is what really matters. A fine start would surely carry the positive vibes all throughout the moment.
- Be attentive, and this does not involve the ears, you need to observe those unspoken words and signs from the other person. Be sensitive, it really matters a lot.
- Do not think about the event in a very serious demeanor. It may just put you under so much pressure. Think of the fact that you are here to get to know each other, have the best time and make the most out of the special event of your lives.
- Avoid dominating the conversation especially for men. Make it sure that your voice volume is in moderation and you talk with the person in a sincere manner. When you do this, you would be listened to not only on that very time but in more conversations to come. You have to remember that generally people love it when others listen to them.
- No discussions about ex-partners and of course about sex. This goes out both ways, no matter how the other person tempts you, be reminded that when out on a date, and you are in a conversation about such matters, less is more.
- Give the singular focus to your date. Do not be too distracted with other people around you, no matter how attractive the woman in at the next table is. Any person likes that attention from the opposite sex. Keep focused.
- Be witty. This is the most attractive point you could flaunt to your date. Nothing beats having a really fun but wholesome conversation. You have to think of the fact that the date you have this time around would be your ticket to the next date or dates. So, do well, let go of those light and gay thoughts.
Use these reminders to check and recheck if you are doing the right thing and you are indeed doing what is right and what is impressive for your date and for the event as a whole. These are tips that would let you get the best scores during the very date.
And, the best reminder you could give yourself is “I am confident, I am going to have fun and I am going to meet the one.”
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 14th, 2009. Comment.
What woman doesn’t want to be treated to a little romance every once in a while? Many women will agree that romance is all about the details. Small gestures really do make a normal night out into something romantic. So listen up… because these tips will sure earn you some points…
The key to being romantic is thoughtfulness… so start being a little less selfish. Learn that mood, location, situation and ambiance can heighten romance with dramatic effect. Communicate with your partner on every level and anticipate their desires and needs. Look at your partner when they are talking and hold their gaze.
Try doing little things to get right at your partner’s soft spot. Phone just to say hello, I love you and give your partner a nice surprise. Send them notes and small cards telling them you are thinking of them. Be spontaneous and do little deeds that show you care. Bring home take out from their favorite restaurant or take them to their favorite ice cream shop. Flowers are always a nice touch at any time of year. Be creative and pick out their favorite colors and types for a personal touch. Remember birthdays, anniversaries and landmark days such as the day your first met or first kissed, and plan something… maybe a return to the first date location. Listen to clues that your partner might drop, such as their favorite dessert or books they like, and surprise them with little gifts.
Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Dance together when the occasion arises. Hold hands and do anything to make your partner feel close to you.
Write him/her a letter and let them know that you love them and you mean it. Use nice stationary, or make your own card, which shows thought and inspiration.
In terms of dates, learn how to cook your partner’s favorite dish. Plan a surprise candlelit dinner followed by a romantic movie. Take your partner on a picnic to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving them. This initiative is very romantic.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Mar 10th, 2009. Comment.
Modern technology has made life easier than ever and things happen at the click of a mouse. We expect our lives to be equally fast paced and exciting and get bored easily by the mundane. Relationships are an important part of our life but in today’s age they get stale very quickly. People end a relationship simply because they get bored. The common complaint is that there was no excitement left in their love life. So in order to keep the spark alive you have got to do something out of the way from time to time. A date that will surprise your partner is the best option for you. Try getting a few fun date ideas and pick the best one suitable for you.
A Night Out At the Beach
Everybody associates beaches with sun, surf and sand. The thing that you mostly do at the beach is laze around in the sun all day. Maybe have a bit of fun in the water or try surfing. But these are for the ordinary. Do you have it in you to try something different? If yes, then, take your date out for a night at the beach. It is better if you can plan the date on a full moon night. A moonlit night at the beach can be more fun than the day. You can start by lighting a small bonfire and cuddling around it. There is nothing more romantic than cuddling up around a fire with the sound of waves crashing in the backdrop. You can take a walk around the beach without the daytime hustle bustle of the crowd. It will be just the two of you. You can talk about everything from your work place to your most intimate personal secrets here. Unwind and let the stress flow out.
More Things to Do
If you are hungry you can toast a few marshmallows or even have a barbeque. Sip a few glasses of your favorite drink and you will have the perfect midnight snack. After this, you could simply lie gazing at the stars above with your date. Or you can carry a small telescope or binoculars to try your hand at stargazing. A swim in the ocean is also an option, but is best left avoided. You do not want to spend the rest of night facing the fatigue of the exercise. In place of a swim, you can walk along the beach with the waves kissing your feet. Carry your small portable music player and add some soft music to the entire ambiance. Also make sure that you leave the place clean. It will keep the beach clean and will leave a good impression on your date. Your date will certainly be satisfied and will be thrilled to join you on more similar out of the way dates.
So the next time you are short of fun date ideas, remember that a night at the beach is also a great option.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Mar 5th, 2009. Comment.
No one wants a date with someone with low self esteem and a negative self image. Try to makeover your self confidence and learn how to be a desirable date with these ideas…
Make a list addressing all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be honest. Establish which things people may not like about you and get an honest second opinion. Change the things that are easy first, and ensure you are comfortable with any alterations.
Address the way you look and dress. By changing the basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime, you will instantly feel more confident. By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons your life has already changed for the better and your confidence levels are on the up.
There are a few changes that can be made in your daily life. Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising, remember to be patient as these changes will take a little while. Also, start doing things you wish you always had the courage to do… maybe a hobby, sport, class or society. Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time especially for these things. If you like to cook for friends, then start having dinner parties.
Start dating… if someone has asked you out, accept. If not, be proactive and ask someone out yourself who you like. Just do it, and accept the fact that some people will say no… but many will also say yes. Begin to make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way. Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Now start to be selective about what kind of people you really like. But by the same token, talk to everyone. The more people who are interested, the higher your confidence levels.
Remember to stay away from people that bring you down or criticize you. Whether a friend or a potential date, you deserve better. Walk away from anything you don’t like and instill a positive attitude in everything that you do.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Feb 5th, 2009. Comment.
Hey Doc,
I was involved in a relationship for four years with my ex, Terri. Things ended on a sour note, but I guess they always do, don’t they?
What happened was that Terri cheated on me, so I put an end to it. I later found out that she also cheated on me another time as well. At the end, I was trying so hard to make it work that it was extremely tiring. Who wants to be in a relationship when your partner cheated on you, right?
About a month or so after our breakup I started to pick up some heavy vibes coming from one of our mutually close friends, Vanessa. Even when I was with my ex I always felt that Vanessa was interested in me, but I didn’t feel right doing anything about it since she and my ex were tight friends.
Well, it’s been about two months now and I’ve been seeing Vanessa occasionally. She’s ready to move into a heavy relationship with me as soon as I say the word. Things couldn’t be better between us, but the problem is that my ex has been calling me, telling me that she is sorry about what happened, that she never meant to hurt me and that she wants to work on being friends again so that we can be back to where we once were. She wants me to end things with Vanessa. To make it even more interesting, Vanessa wants me to stop talking to or seeing my ex.
Can it really work with someone who was a mutual friend of a guy and his ex-girlfriend? Or are there too many issues to ever make the transition smoothly? I have a lot of things in common with Vanessa, but my ex was a big part of me. On the other hand, why should I care about someone who nearly destroyed me?
If I let Vanessa go now, there might never be a chance of rekindling it with her. At the same time I’m concerned that our connections to my ex might be too much and her memory will be hovering over both of us forever.
Doc, what would you do if you were in my position?
Pepper – who doesn’t know if he can overcome the past
Hi Pepper,
It’s interesting that you say things always end on a sour note because the goal of “The System” is to have a woman want to keep you for the rest of her life. And now that people are living into their seventies and eighties and nineties, that’s a very long time not to get bored to death with someone. To you Psych majors, you have to always be on top of your game if you expect to keep her in love with you forever and not end on a sour note at least once in your life.
Nevertheless, it was you who ended the relationship with Terri. Great. Perfect. According to my cousin Rabbi Love, “You did the right thing, my son. And I hope you’re dating lots of other women.”
So, your ex had more than one fling behind your back? Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Is this girl a community project or what?”
What were you trying to make work at the end? Your relationship with Terri is busted. There was nothing to make work. The contract between you and her is null and void. It’s finished. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Once the woman cheats, it’s finito, bro.” But most guys are weak and will give her another shot at screwing with his head. For your sake I hope you’re not a Wimpus Americanus, Pepper.
Dude, I’m happy you picked up heavy vibes from Vanessa. You deserve something good after being betrayed by someone you trusted for years. As my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say, “Isn’t revenge sweet?” And she and your ex were as tight as twins? That’s even more reason to go after Vanessa!
Pepper, it’s not a problem at all that your ex is calling and begging to talk to you. Actually, it’s predictable. Just don’t pick the phone up and don’t call her back. End of problem.
Remember, man, Terri is only telling you about two guys she fooled around with. Like my cousin General Love says, “Hopefully she wasn’t playing with the entire battalion when you weren’t looking.”
Vanessa’s right. You shouldn’t be talking to or seeing Terri. She’s ancient history and she’s bad for your head. So make the break, Pepper. Tell your ex that Vanessa and you have something great going, that you don’t want it messed with, and that you and she had a good run but it’s over. Then it’s thank you and goodbye.
But you have another problem here, buddy. You have to figure out how you turned your ex off. Because you don’t want it to happen again. You have to figure out why Terri came to hate and resent you so much she couldn’t wait to be with another man. Did you try to turn her into your mommy? How much of a Challenge were you, Pepper? Or were you smothering Terri like a blanket until she ran screaming into another man’s arms?
Of course it can work out between you and Vanessa. Terri and she are squabbling over you because, as my book says, “Kitty Kats Kompete.” But there won’t be any problems with Vanessa as long as you keep her Interest Level up in the 90s like it is now. When she stops fawning over you, then you’re in trouble.
Your ex might have been a big part of you, but, as you just said, she’s your EX. As in ADIOS. As in OVER. As in DONE. It goes without saying that you don’t want someone destroying you, but the better question is, why should you care about someone you can’t trust?
So feel free to make a go of it with Vanessa, Pepper. Don’t worry about whose ghost is hovering over you. You’ve been reading too many psychology books — that’s your problem.
What would I do if I were in your position, pal? I’d fall in love with Vanessa. But make sure you know what you’re doing this time around. Because you only get one shot.
Remember, guys: if she strays, don’t give her a second chance to do it again.
To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
© Copyright 2006-2009 DocLove DotCom, Inc.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Feb 3rd, 2009. Comment.
Hey Doc,
Just recently I started reading your column and have found it fascinating. I wonder if you could give me some feedback on a problem I’m facing.
I was at a party a week ago at my buddy’s apartment. It was a blast at first. The people there, especially the girls, were really fun, and I thought I got a few interested in me. Soon after midnight, though, a lot of other guys showed up. I was trying to get a few phone numbers since it was late, but these latecomers swarmed over whatever girl I chose to concentrate on. They were obviously trying to grab and dominate their attention.
One girl, Deirdre, seemed like she wanted to continue talking to me, but the new guys were so annoying that she became hesitant and uncomfortable. She was clearly trying to block these guys out so that she could talk to me, but that attempt was pretty much futile.
I looked at my options: A) I could be upfront with these other dudes and tell them that I was having a conversation and to stop interrupting. B) I could give in to my frustration by starting a fight or just leaving. C) I could forget the whole thing and hang out with my friends until later that night when the party thinned out a bit.
I knew that talking to these guys wouldn’t help because it rarely does in a drunken college affair, and I would’ve appeared weak to this girl if I demanded they back off in vain. I didn’t want to try and lead this girl away because in that environment girls can be suspicious of your motives. After being hounded by these guys, Deirdre left with her friends.
Ultimately I did leave in frustration, and I know that if I had stayed with Deirdre I could’ve gotten her number, but I have a really hard time dealing with Blockers. And it seems like they are everywhere, even among my own friends. What am I supposed to say or do to get pushy, attention-grabbing guys to give me some room?
Silva – who hates to give ground
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jul 23rd, 2008. Comment.
Some guys don’t have the slightest idea if a woman is ready to be kissed. Usually, you shouldn’t go all out with a kiss at the end of a first date. First date kisses mostly involve light pecks
at the cheeks or even on the lips. These kisses should only be allowed once you feel comfortable enough with your date.
The right time to kiss is usually the most romantic moments of the date. When you feel that you’re close enough to your date while having fun might be the right time to kiss.
If a guy finds himself talking to a girl and wondering if she’s ready to be kissed, he might softly touch her hair and give a compliment about it. If the girl shows a favorable reaction, this can be a sign of getting closer to a kiss. Get closer and try reaching for her hair again.
Touch the hair tips and simply gaze on her lips and eyes. The fact that she does not mind about you getting closer to her is a sign that she is comfortable. This is a sign for a guy to go and kiss the girl.
If you’re talking while having a quiet walk at the park and you notice that she’s looking directly at your eyes, this might be one of those right kissing moments. Sharing moments are usually the best times to kiss on a date, especially if you’re talking about something personal. The situation doesn’t need to be dramatic and serious to kiss. The right moment to kiss during these sharing moments is when you feel comfortable sharing your personal perceptions and experiences with your date.
Some guys try to go out on an adventurous date in order to make the kissing move more suave and natural. One example is the guy who takes the girl for a boat ride on a river. After sailing along the river for a while, he happens to direct the boat to a place covered with trees and fireflies – truly a romantic place to kiss.
You might also take your date to some ancient ruins in your area and manage to spend time walking until dark. The ruins usually light up at night. You can then take your date to the top of the ruins where you can see the city all beautifully lit up. This is when the guy should make a move and kiss his date.
Filed under Dating Advice by on May 19th, 2008. Comment.
What’s a Perfect Date?
I would suggest the definition of a perfect date is that you eventually are going for a second date too, and many more after that. In order to make your first date a pefect date, you will need to add a personal touch to it… and for this, you must know a little about your date…her likes and interests.
How to Create a Successful First Date:
While you might map out in your mind how you want or how you would like your first date to go, in reality it might not happen so. Some things are simply beyond our control and might go wrong. But you can have a some foresight into the circumstances and plan accordingly. For example, you figure your first date is to go for a walk with your date, walking hand in hand on the beach. However, the weather forecast reports heavy rains during the day, and you then change your plan accordingly, and set up the date in a cozy restaurant, overlooking the beach. Thus, you saved your date from being a disaster.
Where ever you get your first date ideas from; your friends, books, or the internet, do not forget to add your personality and personal touch to it, so that it does not look copied and you feel comfortable in it. Avoid applying the same idea for every date afterwards, going to the same place, doing the same things. Repetition leads to boredom and may not lead to further dates with the same person.
Do not shy away from ideas and hints from others, while searching for your perfect first date idea. Take clues from what your date is interested in too. If your date is interested in arts, you may take her to an art exhibition and discuss these things over lunch. If she likes watching movies, get tickets in advance for the latest movie, but make sure she hasn’t seen it before, then you may go for dinner. Similarly, long drives, informal picnics, simple games, and boating, are few first date ideas that seldom go wrong.
Only thing to remember about any first date ideas is to consider your and your date’s interest. Do not copy any first date ideas blindfolded, but apply your brains and your twist to it, to make it more personalized and exciting for both of you.
Filed under Dating, Dating Advice by on Apr 11th, 2008. Comment.
Why not spice up your first date in an mysterious and unusual way? Something that is fun for both of you will be remembered for a long time to come. This first date idea is unique and should be tried out if you know the person at least a little and believe she will appreciate the adventure. Make sure she doesn’t get confused about what you’re doing or land up in any kind of trouble.
This first date idea is a sort-of scavenger hunt, before or during the date. The ultimate destination for your date could be any place both of you are interested in, but the way you get there could be different.
Filed under Dating, Dating Advice by on Mar 22nd, 2008. Comment.
OK, you’ve joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now?
How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?
You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions.
After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views about men in general.
Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating online and help you to avoid making the same mistakes.
Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.
Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Jan 29th, 2008. Comment.
Being a woman who was single once, I have seen some cringe-worthy pickup attempts. Here are some tips to approach women or at least leave with your dignity intact. First, don’t take rejection personally. Some women just want go out with their friends. They have no intention of meeting you or anyone else. Some will reject you in the worst possible way just for the fun of it. Just remember that person is the one with issues, not you.
Next, don’t brag. You bring yourself down when you try to explain why they should be with you. Do you think James Bond ever brags about himself? Just introduce yourself and make small talk. Ask if she’s ever been here before, if she likes the song that’s playing, if she is in school, or where she works.
There are some questions that you should not ask unless you’re sure that she wants you to ask them. She may think you have ulterior motives or that you’re just being nosy:
Do you come here ALL the time? Can I drive you home? Are you here with friends? Are you religious?
Next, know how to compliment a woman. It’s great to tell a woman that she’s pretty, she has beautiful eyes, she’s a great dancer, she’s really smart, or she’s fun to talk to. But, don’t compliment her body. It’s too aggressive.
If you’ve been having a nice conversation, don’t ruin it by asking, “Can I have your number?” Instead, first ask if she’s up for dinner or lunch next week. If you’ve been talking about art, ask her to go to the museum. If she’s a sports fan, maybe she’d like to go to a game with you.
“Just be yourself.” This is an old line, but it’s so true. Mad T.V. has a hilarious skit with Bobby Lee trying to pick up a girl using all kinds of slang and hand gestures. He’s trying to show that he’s cool, but he just looks silly.
Also, remember that appearance counts. Make sure that you are neat and clean, but don’t take a bath in cologne. Better yet, don’t use cologne because you may put on to much without realizing it. Is your hairstyle outdated? Are your clothes out of style? Ask a female friend or relative to give you an opinion. She may even agree to shop with you. Be stylish in a subtle day. Don’t go overboard with something too trendy that you don’t feel comfortable. Are you out of shape? Don’t wait until you get in shape to ask someone out. But, make a commitment to lose the extra pounds. In addition to protecting your health, you may have better luck meeting women. There you have two good incentives. Good luck!
Leila Morris is a professional business editor. Her hobby is her website, Wed Cheaper is an ezine with fun and creative tips to slash your wedding costs.
Filed under Dating Advice by on Dec 27th, 2007. Comment.
When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like… even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right girl for you… and she IS out there… you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.
The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s). What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.
If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.
Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar… and probably a cheat, as well.
Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking… not those who have found or been found.
Filed under Dating Advice, Online Dating by on Dec 21st, 2007. Comment.
It is fun to date online- you get to imagine what the person you are talking to is like. There may be web cameras and photo sharing that helps you to know the other person closer but of course, meeting in person is far different from online dating.
It can be really stressful to know that one day, you are going to meet and go out on a date with the person you used to only chat with. How would you be impressive? What would you do so that it will not be your first and last date? Confidence says it all. When that day comes, all you need to have is the reliance in your self and the thought that things will be dealt with naturally. Pretensions are never helpful.
Do not put much pressure on your self and on your date. Treat it as a night of fun no matter what your purpose is- whether you are looking for a night of excitement or hoping to meet your lifelong partner, you just have to deal with the date with enthusiasm and not have too many expectations from your date. You just have to enjoy the company of the person with you. It is only the first- so, whatever happens next depends on both of you.
Confidence could be derived from mind conditioning. When you think that you are a person of confidence, it is surely to exude. You do not have to be very beautiful or be very sexy just to achieve confidence. When you are confident, everything beautiful and sexy follows.
Being insecure is never good. When you feel this way, try to divert your attention. Ask your date questions about her. With that, you can somehow evade the situation where you have to answer questions.
To make a more exciting date and keep your self away from the questions you are not comfortable with, it would be wonderful if you find a similar interest between the two of you and go out. Trying the things or activities together would be very interesting. You could talk about your past experiences about those happenings.
The most important point to remember is that you are a special person who deserves to be happy. You must never be insecure because we are created with individual strengths, we must flaunt them and be gutsy. With that, we could meet people with self-esteem.
Who knows? With this confidence, you will finally meet the lifetime partner you have been waiting for.
Filed under Dating Advice, Online Dating by on Dec 7th, 2007. 1 Comment.
Hey Doc,
I discovered your columns a couple of months ago and have been addicted ever since. I must say that you have quite a great deal of insight into the male-female thing and I wanted to compliment you. You’re really quite funny, too – I don’t know if anyone’s ever mentioned that. It’s refreshing to see someone deal with dating and relationships in such a lighthearted manner and be so serious and profound at the same time.
Anyway, here’s what I’m writing about. I am a 50-year-old man. I’ve had a crush on Sienna since I was 12. (I know this sounds weird, but it’s true.) She recently lost her parents, who she cared for because they were elderly. Sienna is 51, was never married or had kids. I recently discovered her profile on a computer-dating network. Years ago she used to be plump and had very poorly dyed hair and bad teeth. Now she’s drop-dead gorgeous. Her hair has been done beautifully, her teeth have been fixed and she’s lost 105 pounds! In other words, she’s had a very expensive makeover. But here’s what disturbs me. Sienna is saying on her profile that she is 37 years old, and I have to admit that she does look like she could pass for that age. She doesn’t know that I know about her deception, by the way.
Sienna and I have not been in touch for a long time, Doc, but I could never get this woman off my mind. We never had a romantic relationship, by the way. I feel that this is the time to finally try and make something happen, but I keep thinking about the fact that she’s lying about her age.
Do you think that it’s ever too late to hook up with someone that you’ve always been interested in? Would the fact that she’s lying about her age disturb you? Can you give me some coaching?
Remington – who was shocked to see the new her
Read what Doc Love has to say to Remington
Filed under Dating Advice by on Nov 26th, 2007. Comment.
online dating is sure good fun and serious matches may also happen if you are lucky. However, just like anything, online dating also has its drawbacks. Here are some Internet dating safety tips to safeguard you from the possible pitfalls of online dating. Interacting online exposes you to various types of risk such as, fraud, security, and adultery, to name a few. The internet dating safety tips mentioned below should help you establish a safe and fun relationship when dating online.
Internet dating safety tips:
Patience: Be patient when interacting with people. Do not disclose your personal life and information until you are certain about the trustworthiness of the other person.
Analysis: Keep a critical eye on every online communication with the other person. Do not overlook even the slightest slip, as you cannot afford one in online dating. If you find that the other person is being too insistent or pressing for your comfort levels, or he/she is being dishonest, just opt out of any further communication with the person.
Anonymity: Do not disclose your any personal information when dating online, either in profile or in your mails to the other people. Take care not to give in to any pressure or temptation.
Signature: Keep a brief signature for online dating, definitely other than the one you use regularly in your personal and professional dealings. The signature must not convey any whereabouts about you.
Information: Try collecting as much information as possible from the other person. Ask as many questions you want maintaining his/her comfort levels at the same time. It would be ideal if you can verify the information provided by the other person.
Decisions: In the online world, you decide about your next move. It is absolutely your ability to judge, verify and decide this aspect when dating online. You can graduate to the next level depending upon the certainty you have for the other person. It is better to be safe than sorry.
Phone call: Communicating with the person on the phone can give you a better picture about him/her.
Date: Date your online friend only when you know that you are meeting a right person. Else, the outcome of the date may be too sorry and you may be in for a trouble as well.
Absence of any face-to-face interaction makes online dating vulnerable to many evils. These Internet dating safety tips are just a way to guide you through online dating in various circumstances. Your personal tact and expertise of handling risks are definitely invaluable when dating online.
Filed under Dating Advice, Online Dating by on Nov 23rd, 2007. Comment.
Hey Doc,
I’ve had your book for a few years now, but didn’t follow it enough three years ago when I met my fiancée, Nicole. She was only 19 at the time (she’s 22 now and I’m 26 by the way). She’s going to school in a city that’s pretty far away, and I just graduated from school in another city, so I’m looking for a job where she is now, since she still has two years left before she graduates.
About six months ago, Nicole told me that we should take some time off because she didn’t know what she wanted and felt that something was missing in our relationship. The very next day she changed her mind and I told her that if it ever happens again I wouldn’t talk to her anymore. Things have been great ever since, but yesterday she said she had to tell me something about that day. She admitted that she felt bad and had wanted to tell me this secret all along, but that she never got up the courage. She said that every time I called her “baby” it made her feel horrible about what she did.
Here’s what happened. Just before she needed “time,” Nicole met her ex-boyfriend (her first love) at the park a couple of times and they kissed, but nothing more (I want to believe her, but I’m taking it with a grain of salt). She said that she is extremely sorry about what happened and that she felt like she was going crazy, and that it made her realize how much she wanted me and not him. She also said she regrets what happened big time and wants to marry me more than ever, and that it even helped her to realize that her ex is not for her but that I am. She swears she hasn’t talked to him since.
As she was telling me all this, I pulled out “The System” and read the section on “Betrayal.” I didn’t blow up, but told Nicole that I was very angry. I also told her that if she ever does anything like that again, there would be no more me and her.
Nicole begged me to forgive her, but I told her that I was too angry to think straight, and that I needed to go and sleep on it, and that I’d call her when I woke up. I will try to give her another chance, but I’m wondering how I should go about it. I’m thinking of telling her something like “If you’re absolutely positive that you still want to be with me and marry me, and that you will not ever think about doing something like this again, then I forgive you and we can move on.”
What do you think, Doc?
Primo – who hopes to get back in control
Filed under Dating Advice by on Oct 5th, 2007. Comment.
Dating can be very exciting and a person must always be responsible and by all means be cautious when dating online. Since you are getting involved with unknown individuals, you must equip yourself with the necessary protection or security whatever risks there are. Yes, there are risks…
online dating is safe from outside physical risks since it happens with a distance between you and your online partner. It’s when those involved decide to meet face-to-face that the risks start.
Women are physically weak and there are a lot of possibilities that they are taken advantage of by their dates. According to studies in the US, Dating violence is rampant among adolescent girls, especially those reporting having had the experience of coitus or sexual intercourse.
Adolescent girls who were intentionally hurt by a date in the past year are more likely to experience sexual health risks, such as the possibility to acquire human immunodeficiency virus infection and other sexually transmitted infections, or an unwanted pregnancy.
As for the adult women who are into online dating, many of them have recently suffered a long-term relationship heartbreak and so they are there to meet anyone possible. Oftentimes this leads them to the risk of meeting the wrong man but still believing that he is right. With that, they are prone to possible sexual abuses or other forms of abuse.
The most common risk in online dating is both financial and emotional in nature. Financial risk comes in the form of scam. You must be cautious and try to read between the lines if the person is just playing around. The emotional risks are the result of becoming involved with a married date, for example or other warped individuals playing mind games.
Dating, companionship and courtship are really good for us but some come with a hidden agenda, so be careful.
Filed under Dating Advice, Online Dating by on Sep 28th, 2007. Comment.
Here are a couple online dating tips that can spice up your matchmaking and open up new doors of opportunities. Yes, these tips apply to both online dating and the real world of offline dating.
Looks Count
Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women like to hear they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.
Kindness Counts
Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news lately, etc. Be upbeat, and forget about the lemons in life. Show good manners and kindness in your online communications. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters, which should be avoided. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. And “do unto others….”
You’ll be amazed at the positive results these tips can add to your online dating experience. Keep on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!
Filed under Dating Advice, Online Dating by on Sep 18th, 2007. Comment.
Hey Doc,
I am 35, live in England and have just purchased your book. I realize now that I’ve being doing the exact opposite of what you preach. No wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere with girls and kept getting dumped after the first few dates. You probably know the sort of mistakes I was making: paying a girl too many compliments, being too needy, never saying no, and being too eager. Now I think that after all these years of unsuccessful dating I’m starting to see the light.
Now here’s my question. When you’re flirting with a woman, do you think it’s okay to joke about her appearance? Not in a nasty way, of course, but in a lighthearted, funny way. In other words, a gentle bit of teasing. For example, if you work with the girl, you might say that you never see her doing any work and that all the inactivity is giving her a fat behind. Or if she has had her hair done, can you say something like “I like it, but next time make sure they do your roots as well?†The point is to throw out some bait about your interest but not come on too strong.
The reason I ask is because there is a girl I work with who I like, and I know that “Caprice†had high Interest Level in me at one time. However, because I didn’t have “The System†I made the same mistakes, like pushing too hard, etc. and her Interest Level has dropped. I am hoping it’s not too late to turn things around, as I really like this girl. Maybe some easy joshing would help?
By the way, Caprice is currently breaking up with the guy she lives with. They have been together a few years and she is having a really hard time of things, as she wants to walk out but doesn’t really have a lot of options on where she can go. We have kissed on a couple of occasions, but no more that that. With her having so much on her mind at the moment I don’t want to put any pressure on her but at the same time I hope I wasn’t just a rebound thing either.
Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
Anton – who’s trying to figure out what to do next
Filed under Dating Advice by on Aug 20th, 2006. Comment.
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